Foggy outside with a chance of sunshine

Today is the first full day without Pristiq (SNRI) and onto Prozac (SSRI.)  I do not advocate for these types of drugs; I think of them as a necessary evil for necessary cases. Sometimes intervention is needed in the same way I need medication for my thyroid disorder.  I suspect my thyroid as the main culprit for my other brain medication supplementations; I will never truly know the answer.

I awoke with mild anxiety and a bit of a foggy feeling, much like the weather today – grey.  I am thankful that my health problems are not more severe and they are manageable.  I used Prozac several years before and then it stopped working.  At the time I was in college and grad school; on my way to a Ph.D.  I never thought I would get that far, that is, it was not a grand plan for my life, it just sort of worked out that way.  After my youngest child was hit by a car, I reevaluated my direction and suddenly felt lost – my priorities changed in an instant. 

Most of my family members did not finish high school and I was the first to graduate college. I come from a broken family of six children; although my siblings have a different father.  I suspect many in my extended family have anxiety/OCD related problems that have gone untreated. Perhaps their difficulties are also exasperated by Hashimotos thyroid which is an inherited disease.

I have a good husband and a stable life; I own a home and my own car. These may be small things to many people but I know there are numerous people with brain illnesses who struggle to maintain basic things like housing, employment and transportation.

I have two children who are nearing the point of being on their own and I worry every second that I screwed them up in some way (even though they assure me I have not.)  I have immense mommy guilt that I may have passed these disorders onto them. I sometimes wonder if I would have had children if I knew of my family history. Then I feel guiltier for thinking it. Mommy guilt sucks.

In order to help the next generations of my family I have gathered health data to share with them. I printed out anonymous questionnaires for family gatherings/reunions;  compiled the data (simpler than it may seem.)  We now know our full family mental/medical history that may have otherwise been lost. Perhaps it will help future generations and their children make informed decisions.


Pediatric Family History Tools:

Adult Family History Tools

General Tools

Do you know your family history?


Family Medical History Questionnaires (printouts)


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