Through the miasma

images (46)

I seen my endocrinologist for the test results. After many weeks of illness I feel as though I am slowly emerging from this illness.  I still have no appetite and I have lost weight. I am fatigued but slightly clearer minded. I have been up and walking around the house in short spurts.

As of yet, I have no clear diagnosis; I initially suspected some type of inflammation; my doctor suspected adrenal gland involvement, but the tests for both came out okay.

My OBGYN started Estradiol in January and I felt slightly better. Then he added medroxyprogesterone last week and I started menses – something that should not happen.  I called my OBGYN in the morning to ask about it and he didn’t return the call until late afternoon.  He said the gallbladder sonogram showed a problem so I have to see another specialist. When I asked about the hormones and menses he seemed dumbfounded – he didn’t have an answer. I was shocked, so he will no longer handle any of my HRT (hormone replacement therapy) issues.

At the endocrinologist I talked about my conversation with the OGBYN and the doctor was appalled.  We decided to change to an Estradiol pill and a Micro-progesterone pill taken at the same time.  images (43)I had to stop the estradiol patch today, and wait a day to start the new hormones. It should help stop the bleeding which started as spotting and has grown heavier.  I will also take high doses of Vitamin D, and revisit in three weeks. If there is no improvement I may have to start adrenal medications.

This new doctor has been especially attentive and caring. He wants to take the process one step at a time and hopefully restore balance.

imagesIt has been a slow passage of days which feel like many weeks.  I can only say that whatever this illness is or was, it felt like an insidious attack on my body and mind that suddenly escalated out of control.

The attack lasted I think, about 10 days.  I have been slowly recovering ever since.  I was afraid I might have a psychotic break without intervention.  I felt a mixture of anxiety, depression, flashes of light and pictures in my brain, earworms, and unrelenting obsessing (OCD), as if all of the brain circuits were trying to work at the same time. For instance, I could not concentrate on any one thing – everything came at the same time. It was so draining and distracting that I laid in bed for days unable to do anything. I started to feel very depressed that it might go on forever, so I sought more urgent medical help.

images (50)To be fully cognizant of your brain under attack is a living hell. To try to help yourself is nearly impossible. I wrote down as much as I could and kept a simple daily log of symptoms to share with the doctor.

My best guess (so far) is a mixture of hormonal imbalance (peri-menopause), a bad reaction to Pristiq an SNRI (norepinephrine) and the excessive rise in thyroid hormone (medication mistake) which combined to “light up” my brain. This is a simple theory of course which includes all the elements.

When excessive levels of thyroid hormone are circulating through the brain, normal levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine produce excessive electrical activity and subsequent anxiety.

So no diagnosis yet, but I seem to have a clearer head each day. I hope the new regimen of hormones and vitamins helps and does not send me back into a frenzy. Stay tuned.


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