HRT, gallbladder, and acceptance?

images (85)Well I thought I was feeling better. I had a little food the last few days, not much, but more than nothing.  I am still waking at 5am with morning anxiety and feeling tense.

I try to practice deep breathing or meditating, and sometimes I try to read. Occasionally I will fall back to sleep for an hour or so and I will wake up feeling more relaxed.

images (93)The medical tests came back fine, except a thickening gallbladder; what does that mean?  So I have to wait for another specialist at the end of March.  It is a mystery as to why I have been gagging, vomiting and lack an appetite for the last two months. I cannot eat!  I am always nauseous!

Until yesterday I didn’t think much about that gallbladder test, until I started having pain under my right rib cage that radiated to my chest and back!  Nausea, shortness of breath, sweating and lasted an hour.  Webmd says a sudden decrease in weight, being overweight, and taking HRT could cause gallbladder problems! Great.

download (12)Before I was ill I had a regular exercise regimen at least three days a week at the gym.  I went to Weight Watchers and recorded all my meals. I do not have much of an appetite; for many years I was underweight, so it was sometimes hard to meet the minimum points each day. (My husband dropped 15 pounds! jerk.)  Yet, I continued to gain more weight, not muscle, weight, a lot of weight.  I did yoga, cardio, Zumba, and light weights. Yet I continued to gain; my cholesterol went upward – all signs of thyroid disease even though my lab tests were normal. So what was the problem!?

When my BMI continued to climb:

WW supervisor: “You should consult your doctor!”

Me: “My doctors sent me to you!”

WW: “This program is obviously not working for you.”

So I was essentially kicked out of WW!

When I consulted my doctor again, he said: “Eat less, move more!”  Really? According to WW if I ate any less my body would just continue to store it.

This year I started to have more intense symptoms – increased night sweats, hot flashes, migraines, anxiety, depression, bloating, irregular periods, no sex drive.  So I talked with my doctor about increasing my thyroid medication, perhaps it would kick start my metabolism?  And then my health took a nose dive. I lost my appetite and started gagging.

images (88)My doctors say I am under a lot of stress; they imply what I am feeling is psychological.  My question is, what makes this year, this month, any more stressful than last year, or last month? Nothing.  I continue to deal with the same life issues; except one aspect as changed – my hormones.

I am told there is no reliable way to test hormone levels. Yet when I researched my symptoms they match exactly what I am feeling and going through. So doctors obviously know these symptoms match changing hormone levels.  So which is it doc? Is it my hormones or in my head?

I have to accept that it is a little of both. The hormones are making me feel crazy.  Actually it is the hormone fluctuations, not necessarily the hormones themselves.  I am supposed to accept the fact that it is just my hormones that are causing these symptoms and stop fighting it.

images (84)I am now pumped full of Vitamin D 50,000 energy and feeling restless, stuck in the house and it is cold outside, and yes, I am whiny!  WAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa.  Geesh I am annoying even to myself.

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